holdingagrudgeA few years ago I had a very public falling out with Stuart Crawford of Ulistic although I can’t honestly remember why. A couple months ago Stuart reached out to talk to me. After that initial conversation and the many that followed, we have been able to put our differences behind us. So much so, that last month Stuart invited me to collaborate and speak at Ulistic’s Los Angeles MSP event. Today Stuart and I are moving forward with rebuilding what was once a very close personal friendship and professional working relationship.

Saturday of last week, Stuart announced on his personal Facebook page that he had suffered a mild heart attack. All things being open and honest, when Stuart had his heart attack he reached out to let me know. I promised him that I wouldn’t say anything until he was ready to announce it. My first thought was OMG, what can I do to help him and his business. The issues that we had in the past were 100% gone. He was going through a life changing event and I needed to be there for him, period!

When we look at our business and personal relationships the key to making them successful is effective communication. If you are unable to communicate then you will fail at building these relationships, both personally and professionally. We are never going to 100% agree with everyone, it is ok to disagree as long as we can communicate through it.

As I write this from the deck of a good friend’s home in Newman Lake, WA, I think about relationships that have come and gone because of a lack of communication. Of my own relationships that failed for this reason, two of them stand out and the losses still effective me every day. One of them was a friendship of more than 25 years and the other was a professional relationship that turned into a very close personal friendship. In both cases I cannot give you good a reason for why they failed, except that they did. I cannot go back and change anything I have might have done or said to hurt the other person. I have reached out in the past to both of these people whose friendship was very valuable to me, but with no reply. I welcome a phone call, email or text to make some time to talk and put the past behind us.

As far as my relationship with Stuart Crawford, I believe we are on a path to making our relationship even better than it was before. Stuart is one of the most talented MSP marketing professionals I know and he truly cares about his clients, the industry and his family. Ulistic has also become a trusted partner to Stuart Selbst Consulting.

When I asked Stuart why he reached out to me he said that life is too short to hold grudges. We are only put on this planet once and we much make the most of it. I agree with my friend Stuart when he posted, “Appreciate what you have…because one day, you may not be here to enjoy it.”

A personal note to Stuart, I am so very glad you reached out to me. I know that we will be able to work together for many years to come. Get well soon my friend. I am looking forward to our collaboration and chats.

If you are having issues in any relationship, buck up and communicate with that person. I bet that if you take the higher road, the relationship will work out. If it doesn’t, well you have done everything you can and it is back on the other person to change. Remember that life is way too short and precious to be angry and hold a grudge. You never know what may happen tomorrow and it might be too late to apologize.

All the best in success,


6 thoughts on “Life is too short to hold a grudge

  1. Stu

    Thanks for posting this. Our friendship means alot to me and you are truly one of most ethical guys in our business. There are a lot of snakes out there, I am have met many…but you my friend, are truly a stand up individual.

    Healthwise, I am back to work and taking care of the great MSPs out there. Might be a tad bit slower right now, but on the path to a full recovery.

    Make it a great day and as long as you focus on serving people…you will win in the end.

    Stuart Crawford
    MSP Marketing Professional


  2. Stuart Crawford – I’m so glad to hear you’re back on your feet and back to work. I had no idea about the heart attack. I’ve recently lost several friends who were very close to me and very close to my age. It makes you re-evaluate so much and realize just how short and precious life is. If you’re lucky it cuts the anger right out of you. Please let me know if I can ever be of help or support to you.

    Stuart Selbst – I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. I’m often very blunt about what’s on my mind and sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor. I really appreciate your writing what you did here.



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